As I get older, I realize what a dumbass I used to be. I know that some of you are raising an eyebrow and saying, "Used to be?" The fact that I know of your doubts proves my point.

With my newly found wisdom comes an ability to see what a dumbass everyone else is. I am forever amazed at the drivel that comes out of people's pie holes. Last year, I was talking to a friend of mine about a Mormon family that I knew. I was telling him that it seems that the Mormons lead a righteous life. They have great values, great families, and they are kind and generous. A lady that I didn't even know (turns out she was one of my bosses) butted in and said, "Too bad they're all going to hell!" How did she know?

I believe that I stopped being a dumbass about 15 years ago. That was when I stopped smoking. People always think that they are smart if they have a fag hanging out of their mouth. I quit putting fags in my mouth, and VOILA!! I was a friggin' genius. And fags have really gotten expensive, especially the longs.

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